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......and move on.



I don't know what it is about new years eve that makes me look back over the past year.



It only seems like yesterday that it was January 1st. I started 2010 with a big group of friends, and a boyfriend I would have sacraficed everything for.



Now I end 2010 realising the people I thought were my friends, really weren't worth my time, and I am now with a guy I didn't have to sacrafice anything for.



What made me realise that my 'friends' weren't worth it, was when I needed people around me, and no body was there. But i was expected to be there for them at the drop of a hat. And then the fact they believed lies about me.



But as I have said a million times before, if when you take your last breath you can count the best friends you have had on one hand, then you have been blessed.



My partner is my best friend, and at times this year, it has seemed he is my only friend, apart from people I have known since I was 9 years old, and live all over the uk, he is the only person this year who didn't let me down.



He has made some massive sacrafices for me this year, he left his wife..... before you think ill of me, I didn't even tell him that I liked him until he had told me he was planning on leaving her... he realised when he met me, that everything he felt for me, he had never felt for anybody else, not even his wife... he even told her he doesn't know if he ever loved her... I am not the kind of girl who breaks up marriges, as I believe in the vows. But you can't help who you fall in love with, and trust me I tried to fight it, but the more you fight it, the harder it is...



So 2010 was deffinetly a crazy year for me. I got a job, kept on getting ill, got signed off work with depression, get fired from my job for being off sick, and now have to take my former employers to court... as what they did was illegal.



But thats what makes life the fun rollacoaster it is.



2011 is looking to be a good year, as I plan on setting up a computer bussiness with my wonderfull other half... getting his divorce sorted, and setting up a metal band :) I can't wait to see what else it has instore for us :)

why oh why do I allow oxygen theives to get to me. You know the people who serve no real purpose in life, except to cause problems for others, by telling lies, making out they are the victim when it is all in their head?



I guess what hurts is when people you have known for longer believe them over you? I guess sex sells opinons aswell as everything else in life. And people are weak, they will believe what ever they are told as long as they get to keep on screwing the liars.

I guess I should be in a twisted way flatterd that so many people tell lies about me. Just had someone telling me on facebook they have had to deal with so much shit from lies I have told, truth is the people who told them the things I have allegedly said, I haven't spoken too in pretty much a year.



but the wonderfull thing with the internet is, the wonderful delete button :)



just makes me laugh that people think that they are important enough for me to actually think to lie about them.

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Anachronism
10:43 Dec 21 2010

A delete button in real life would totally rock!!

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Some say that depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been too strong for too long.



But then some people also say that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, that can be sorted with medication.



But what happens when the medication doesn't work, and talking through your problems with a complete stranger in the form of a counsellor or shrink, only makes you feel worse?



I know that sometimes things must become worse in order to get better, but you have to ask yourself, how much further you can fall into the darkness before you begin to make the ascent back to 'normality'



I personaly thought that I had hit rock bottom, and got signed off from work for a month, only to end up loosing my job due to having been signed off sick. An act which in English Law is illegal, and I am now taking too court, under the Dissability and Discrimination act 2010, something I never thought I would have to do in my life, as I had never considerd depression to be a dissability before, but when you consider how crippiling it can be to your day to day life, you can see how it can be classed as one.



I only hope that once the tribunual/court case is over I can get over this bought of depression a whole lot quicker than I will until that happens.

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CosmicSerpentGuru
20:04 Dec 07 2010

i think there are natural ways to cure mental imballance of depression as well,i think sometimes people just get overwhelmed with life and the effect is going into a state of depression

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Seeker2112
21:48 Dec 07 2010

I think that, as long as you seek to become "normal", you are fighting a losing battle. We are all individuals. We are all unique. And in that uniqueness, we have specific things that please us, and contribute to our happiness. People always say "things must get worse before they get better". Occasionally, that is the case, but usually it's just bullshit and an excuse to justify the failure and accept defeat. I am empathetic to your situation. Maybe, the attempt to be "normal" is contributing to the depression. Perhaps if you pursued the things that make you individualistic and unique, you would be at peace with yourself. Then again, maybe I'm full of shit. I know that, regardless of moral or societal implications, those who pursue the things that they personally enjoy, regardless of whether it is accepted by others or not, generally have less reason to be depressed. Anything can be learned, and overcome if approcahed from the proper perspective. I hope you find your answer, and overcome the depression you have been faced with. Be well, my friend.

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